Fall: A Time of Becoming

Everything changes in fall. The leaves. The weather. The sense in the atmosphere. Clothing styles. Foods (how’s that pumpkin latte?). And so should you. It’s a time of transformation, transition, becoming.

‘We are the choices we make.’

A year ago, I moved out of Roanoke, VA. I didn’t particulalry want to–complications with my roommate and boyfriend at the time arose when he turned into your typical scumbag, and overall resulted in being nothing more than a lesson learned: people change. One minute they’ll be your best friend, then next (week, in my case) telling you not to come back to your own apartment because ex was over. For me, it was a blessing in disguise–after all, no one wants to be with another when they make you an option on a pros and cons list between dating two different people. Plus, as he had been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years out of 3, going from person to person, it taught me to be with someone out of love, not out of self-denial, or as a means to hide from yourself. Explore who you are–create yourself, your identity, who you are and what you want to do.

And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

‘Everything you want is on the other side of fear.’

I won’t give you any vague, general ideas–the whole I’ve-grown-yada-yada-look-at-me B.S. Instead, I’ll list several of the critical improvements I’ve implemented as lifestyles.

Goal Lists: My favorite app is called Keep, and it’s a simple list maker…Plus, it’s cool because you can check off your things-to-do. But it’s an overall record of what I want to do: daily nonnegotiables, places to travel, food and fitness aspirations, baby step goals, lifelong dreams, etc etc, and some more etc. If you’re feeling a little lost or directionless, get this app!

Writing: As always, I consider myself a writer more than anything else in this world–er, writing, as it’s an ongoing process, a verb, continuation. A year ago from yesterday, I published my novel The Girl Who Could Change Fate. I haven’t done such a fantastic job of promoting it, but am glad to announce it’s been bought over 300 times and has even been picked up by a small publisher!

For now, I am simultaneously working on book 2 as well as a psychological thriller revolving around a serial killer who falls in love.

Working out/modeling: I think it it awesome how, as someone who wore makeup pretty much every day in college, I never put it on anymore, and the hair modeling agency I’m at is considering putting me as an all-natural model, as I found out last week. Makeup was a means to hide my insecurities, a way to elevate myself in the eyes of others. Now…I just don’t give a shit.

Going along with working out, I have joined a gym and attend every day. That doesn’t sound like much, but as someone who has the bad habit of comparing myself to others, it feels pretty damn good to be going Super Saiyan with my 20lb weights amid boys squatting 150plus barbells.

Eating healthy: This has become my newest passion and, if I could, I’d love to become a dietician, undaunted about paying more student loans. I am implementing a pescetarianism diet and have experienced tremendous changes. My body has never felt so light, healthy, or fit, and it’s all because of food! For someone who would roll out of bed at noon, immediately eat a bag of chips, bowl of ice cream, and a handful of cookies, it speaks volumes about my love for eating healthy when I can’t even bite into a single Zebra Cake and taste the bullshit. I am tremendously happy knowing I am sticking well with this lifestyle.

spontaneous things: Whether it be partaking in acting sessions, dance classes, volunteer for the homeless, enjoying quiet moments in coffee shops, one of my daily goals is to do something spontaneous for every 24 hours. You find a lot about yourself daring experiences like this.

ideas vs expectations: I’ve learned to live the way I want to, not based off what others think. For example, one of my friends here is trying to stop me from eating meat…The hell? I’ll do what I want. Many older people here also encoursge me to be partying it up, finding new guys ‘to wake up in bed beside, hungover,’ but I see no reason as to not focus on yourself.

Fall. It’s a time of transition and transformation. So build yourself up–who you are, what you want, and especially who you want to become.