A year ago, I was a depressed, borderline alcohol moving back into my parent’s house from Roanoke, with no job or social life, after one of my best friends and ex screwed me over in more ways than one. Now, I reflect back and perceive that instance as a tiny ripple among the pages of my book, one depicting a blessing in disguise, a lesson learned, an opportunity for growth.
…And I totally grew the ‘eff up. More importantly, I chose to change, or ‘improve myself.’
I will keep this blog short, simple, and sweet…mainly because, ya know, I’m celebrating 2016 early, so here is what my 2015 comprised of.
Point #1: Forward
Life is a struggle. It’s a journey. A process, ongoing, ever-changing, continuous, a verb, not this static, stale, overrated, lifeless acceptance that’s usually taken for granted. It’s beautiful, full of promise and heartache, with moments of immense euphoria, and depths of grueling anguish, a canvas blended of different colors, where at times you feel like a daily fuck-up and other times you experience that over-the-moon triumph, blossoming from the smallest of choices. Your choice. Your life is made of your choices. Say it. Repeat it if you have to. And remember it.
How you perceive and experience this one life of yours is all up to you. Your mindset to learn from mistakes. Your capacity to ponder on and be grateful for your past, no matter its ups and downs. Because, let’s be real: you’re a beautiful piece of art composed of regrets you exaggerate in your mind at night before falling asleep, weird habits like picking your nails and hoping no one sees them bleed, little hobbies that involve religiously snapchatting your dog, awesomely stupid ideas you’re too afraid to admit. You fuck up but you’re not a fuck up, you make bad decisions but that doesn’t define you, you try to be perfect when perfect isn’t real. You’re human, like the rest of us, and we’ll only ever be equal in our humanity. You have the whole world out there, and you can seize it if you choose to.
Point #2: Follow the things which create passion in you.
Follow the things which create passion in you. Enough said. Find what you love, and let it kill you.
You know what I gain the most joy from?
-Writing…writing writing writing, being a writer.
-Indulging in a healthy eating lifestyle involving nutrition and beauty.
-Being there for others.
-Realizing there’s a difference between living and being alive.
Point #3: Love & Appreciate Yourself
This is definitely the one experience I’ve gained from the most this past year, that of learning to love and appreciate yourself. Don’t wait for other people to give you your sense of self-worth, your happiness, basing your decisions and future from, your job, who you are and your values. Choose for yourself. And, trust me, loving yourself will get you through anything. That breakup? That love lost? Your parent’s rejection? Friendship foregone? Make yourself matter to you…Because you do 🙂
These are the general gains from 2015. I would go more in-depth, but got to go live the rest of it up. Here’s to 2016, but remember you don’t need a new day, a new year, to move forward–you’ll always have that power.